Chuck Norris “Facts”

I hadn’t heard of this list until after the story came out that Chuck Norris was suing the publisher of a book with these “facts” which began as jokes on the internet. It’s funny how when defending yourself you can actually generate more publicity for the very thing you want to stop.

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If you haven’t read any of these, here are my top 10 favorites!

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried. Ever.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

For more go here.

Showing 3 comments
  • D-PLUM

    Are you kidding me? Is he REALLY suing for this stuff? 🙂

  • Gretch-A-Sketch

    Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

    Thats hysterical!!!! I dont know why I laughed more at that one then the rest. hahaha

    Hope things are good for you and the fam =)

  • Alicia

    Chuck Norris facts are amazing… same with Jack Bauer facts. 😀

    “If it looks like chicken, smells like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it’s beef than it’s most definitely beef.”

    Have a great week!

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