When Does “Processing” Become Gossip

A friend of mine emailed me with a common scenario. Person A was offended by Person B. Person A tells Person C. My friend in this scenario (Person C) is a remarkable person who actively seeks ways to solve problems. She wanted to know if she should approach Person B to let him know that Person A was offended.

My response: It is so important that as followers of Christ that we understand the dangers of sinfulness of gossip.  The Scriptures are quite clear that if we have a problem with someone we are to go to that person directly – not tell others about our problems with another person (Matthew 18:15-17).  That can be so divisive and unhealthy. I recommended going back to the offended person and show them the Scriptures and encourage them to approach Person B personally.  If they refuse, volunteer to go with them.  If they aren’t willing to do so, then we shouldn’t even entertain their accusation or frustration (1Ti 5:19 Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses.).

She then asked, “what is the difference between processing and gossip?”

Great question: what do you think? Are there changes I should make to my response or additions? 

How can we solve relationship issues in healthier ways?

Free Consultation

If you're interested in a free 30-min consultation with me, simply fill out this form and I'll contact you!