On this day one year ago, I woke up in tremendous pain. I had never been in so much pain in my entire life! Sprained ankles or even getting hit by a car while riding my bicycle didn’t hurt as much as sciatica.
After years of my back going out every once in a while (never pick up a car with a bunch of friends), my back finally went out completely. A disk in my lower back hadn’t just herniated or ruptured, it exploded! The result was the sciatic nerve in my back was being pinched and was firing all the time. Sometimes the pain felt like I had just ran a marathon with only my left leg. Other times my calf felt like it was cramping, but when I reached down to massage my calf the muscle felt fine. One time it felt like someone had lit a match and put it in between my toes. I reached down to remove the fire only to discover nothing there!
Eventually, I had surgery to remove the parts of the disk that was damaged.
I am not completely recovered. After weeks of this nerve firing all the time, I still have residual nerve damage. When I sit down too much throughout the day, I have pain in my foot (strange, I know). The other day I could have sworn I had a thorn in my foot, but nothing was there. I have to remind myself that the pain is not real.
After weeks of physical therapy and months of working out to regain my strength, I have come to a realization: I would rather go through what I went through again and experience healing than to never experience the healing.
My back used to go out and I would have to lay low for a couple of days. Sometimes it would go out when I played basketball. Other times it would go out when I was brushing my teeth. I never knew how to avoid re-aggravating my back. Now, my back is healed. It doesn’t go out at all!
What pain did you experience in 2010? Is it part of the chronic pain you’ve experienced in your life? Or will you allow it to be the kind of pain that brings complete healing?
Sometimes emotional damage can take as much time and effort to recover from as a physical injury does. Be patient and work (it) out.
For more on my experience, check out the following: