With the current impasse between Congress and the White House over the issue of raising the debt ceiling and the end of the NFL lockout, we are reminded conflict is a part of life.
Unfortunately, sometimes conflict takes a deadly turn. Of course war remains a difficult last resort with dire consequences, but too often the news is filled with senseless acts of violence. On a daily basis we hear about hurting people who fail to figure out a productive way out of conflict and choose to harm those with whom they disagree (along with those who happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time). We have too many examples such as Anders Behring Breivik in Oslo, Jared Loughner in Tucson, Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda, or even the Dodgers fans who attacked and beat up a Giants fan named Brian Stow.
Conflict is normal. Resolving it isn’t.
Only 33% of marriages make it to 25 years. Only 20% make it to 35 years. Only 5% make it to 50 years.
At work, managers spend 1-2 days a week just trying to bring conflict resolution.
So what can we do?!
Here are a few thoughts on overcoming conflict:
Whether you are the offender (Matthew 5:23-24) or the offended (Matthew 18:15), we need to take responsibility to make things right.
The best way to overcome conflict? Be ok with being wronged or cheated (1 Cor. 6:7). Sounds crazy, but we have a more enjoyable life if we choose “to live at peace with everyone as far as it depends on us” (Rom. 12:18).
Making Things Right > Being Right
Agree every time you can (Phil. 4:1-3).
Learn to forgive. Hank Fortener, a friend of mine at Mosaic in L.A., once said “When we don’t forgive, it is like we are holding our breath hoping the person that hurt us suffocates.”
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