Today we began a series at Gateway Church called “Love Is….” Bruce Gilson, the South campus pastor, interviewed three couples who recently got married for the message called “Love Is Sexy.” Here are some of the insights they shared along with some courageous questions Bruce created for married couples:
“Courageous question #1: What would change in our marriage if we put the health of our marriage above the happiness of our families?
Courageous Question #2: Are we living with in our means?
Only 10% of Americans have a budget and only 5% live on one. A budget is to get you both on the same page about finances not to restrict you but to free you to achieve your financial goals. Financial secrets are very dangerous.
Courageous Question #3: How can I serve you in bed?
According to David Olson’s Enrich study of 21,000 couples 57% of married couples are unhappy with their sex lives. We are unsatisfied with sex so we are afraid to talk about it. This is not your chance to force the other person into something that they are uncomfortable, but it is your chance to express ways to better delight in each other’s love. Sex is good and God is in favor of it in the context of marriage. (See Song of Solomon 7: 1-9)
Listen Closely: You are the only legitimate source of romance in your spouse’s life.
Courageous Question #4: What would give you great joy to do with your life? Are you living your calling? Are there any barriers I can help remove? Is there any role I can play?
Do you believe in your spouse? Are you his/her biggest fan?
Courageous Question #5: Is your faith alive these days? Are you growing in your love for God? Does he feel close? What can I do to help? How is your relationship with Jesus?
One Harvard study revealed that only 1 in 1050 couples that read the bible together got divorced. One of the greatest gifts you can give to your spouse is encouragement to follow God.
Passion is great, but more powerful is devotion. Devotion weathers all storms and overcomes all obstacles. Devotion is founded upon honesty, the willingness to discuss the sacred cows of money, calling, sex, and Jesus.
To those of you who are older or in a marriage that has ignored the big issues and problems have surfaced, there is still hope. In Revelation chapter 2, Jesus gives advice to all of us who have lost our feelings. You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. (4-5) Jesus says, you can always go back. The way to restore the feelings, is to go back and do the things you did at first, when you were first in love. If there are two people willing to work, you can always go back.”
For a free resource called “Walk Together Through the Stages of Marriage Intimacy,” email eric.bryant@gatewaychurch.com with “Marriage Intimacy Resource” as the subject.
To watch or listen to the message shared at the McNeil campus, go to www.gatewaychurch.com/podcast or watch below:
Love is Sexy | August 21, 2011 from Gateway Church on Vimeo.
[…] In the early years, it is important to have critical conversations to be on the same page. In the exhausting years, it is important to continue having intentional time with your spouse rather than becoming child-centered. […]